19th August, 2008
African orphans: Don’t let Heidi and Spencer adopt us
30 million orphans from impoverished African nations issued a joint statement today begging world leaders to prevent "Hills" stars Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt from adopting them.
The barely legible statement, which was written in tree bark and delivered to Dateline Hollywood by an aide worker with the World Bank, came in response to a report on E! Online that the famous blonde couple would like to "pull an Angelina and Brad" and adopt several children.
Tags: hollywood, paparazzi, photos, style"It is hard to write this statement due to the gut-wrenching cramps in our empty stomachs and the mosquitoes flying around our near-lifeless eyes, but we must issue this plea: Do not let Heidi and Spencer adopt us," the statement reads. "We are calling on the United Nations Security Council, NATO, and all other international institutions to protect us from the horror of being raised by rich douchebags who will parade us in front of the paparazzi, drag us to c-list Hollywood parties, and let our upbringings be scripted by producers for MTV reality programs. Please just allow us to spend our last days in refugee camps content with the knowledge that we will not be featured in an upcoming season of 'The Hills.'"
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