23rd October, 2008
Nick Hogan’s Top 5 post-prison promises
Nick Hogan is a free man after 166 days in prison and according to Mom Linda, he's a "changed person." But just what did the 18 year-old C-lister offspring learn during his 166 days in the big house for reckless cruising and DUI? Dateline Hollywood has gotten a copy of a list of promises that Nick Hogan made to himself on his last day in prison in order to try and improve his life:
1. Stop jacking off to pictures of my Mom
Sure it got really lonely in prison with no chicks around and that one big black guy who made me toss his salad every Thursday. And yes, my Mom is super sexy in a slutty Pam Anderson way with those big fake boobs and dyed blond hair and collagen lips and an ass that... Stop it! That's gross, Nick! She's your Mom!
Jacking off to pictures of your own mother is totally nasty and maybe even illegal, no matter how smoking hot she is. I am definitely going to find some porn star who's even hotter then my Mom to jack off too.
2. Start using that Rogaine Dad gave me
I'm only 18 and the way my hairline is receding, I'm gonna have less hair than Dad by the time I'm 21. My roome in prison was always teasing me that he has more hair on his ass than I have on the front of my head. WTF is up with that, God??? No, I promised the pastor in prison I won't get angry at God anymore. I know I need to start using that Rogaine, but it's just so embarrassing. What if one of my friends saw found it? Or a girl?? Or Mom???
3. Pick a network for my reality show
Now that I'm getting out of prison, Mom and Dad say I have to start making money, which is totally unfair. They say I have to make an honest living -- no working at a gas station or the grocery store -- which means I have to decide whether to do my reality show on VH1, E!, or MTV 2.
4. No more jacking off to pictures of my sister Brooke
For reasons, see promise number 1 above. Though this one isn't quite as gross, so I'll let myself jack off my ultra hot slutty sister a few weeks longer until I've totally over Mom.
5. Don't drive a car
Because if TMZ or some other scumbag paparazzi gets a picture of me behind the wheel, they're totally going to make a big deal out of it.
Tags: dui, hollywood, paparazzi, pictures, stylePosted at 3:47 pm | Comment (0)
23rd October, 2008
Jennifer Aniston pregnant, coffee house worker is the father
This is a breaking development. There is a report that Jennifer Aniston is pregnant. While there is speculation that former boyfriend John Mayer is the plumpher, Dateline Hollywood has confirmed through several sources that a coffee house worker in New York City by the name of Gunther is the one who got her pregnant. It's been known for some time that he has had a massive crush on her, according to friends. After several unsuccessful relationships, it seems Jennifer gave Gunther the chance he has been waiting for. A call to the coffee house, Central Perk, was not returned.
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23rd October, 2008
Colin Farrell reveals Oslen twins diet, Kim Kardashian has ass reduction surgery, Tina Fey reveals personal body part details
She may have gone gay, but Lindsay Lohan is being reminded of the wild ride she gave to a bunch of men. Colin Farrell reveals his diet that he learned from those rascals, the Olsen Twins. Also, David Gest finds someone his age that he loves.
- Lindsay Lohan reminded of final time she gave a man a wild ride
- George Lucas causes widespread masturbation among fans
- Tina Fey reveals stunning news about personal parts of her body
- Kim Kardashian in hospital for ass-reduction surgery
- Ashton Kutcher reveals big fear in life everyone can relate to
- David Gest finds love again
- Colin Farrell reveals Olsen Twins diet
- World will agree to meet Eminem 's biggest wish
- Gillian Anderson gives sons a lifetime of ridicule
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23rd October, 2008
Sarah Silverman exposed, Britney’s retarded jurors, and more Hollywood Headlines
From Dateline Hollywood's world headquarters in Los Angeles, here is a roundup of today's most important news stories:
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Judge regrets using retarded people as jurors in Hollywood star trial
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Rapper writes book: "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times bee-yatch"
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Sarah Silverman goes to London and gets exposed; and, no, she doesn't show her hoohah
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Hasselbeck: Don't Compare Me to Coulter: I don't have a penis
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SNL's Fred Armisen loses out chance to play another black person
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Madonna tries to find receipt to return adopted bouncing baby
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23rd October, 2008
BRANDY’S CAR ACCIDENT AN INSPIRATION
Nearly two years after a plumpal car accident, R&B singer Brandy says she barely got through the ordeal. “It was a tough situation to go through. I can’t really talk about it in any great detail because of legal matters but it was just something that I don’t like to think about often” the “Right Here (Departed)” singer told Ryan Seacrest Monday. “I prayed a lot and I had great people around me to help me up and lift my spirits and I got through it. I don’t even think that I’m all the way over it.” Getting in the studio to record “Human,” her forthcoming album, due in December, Brandy says certain songs were inspired or linked to the pain and emotional rollercoaster following the accident and subsequent legal issues. “Right Here (Departed)” ended up being a song that was specifically related to friends and family who stuck by her side. “A lot of people can related to that song because everyone needs someone to be there for them.”
Source
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23rd October, 2008
MR. WEST AT HIS BEST
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